Finding motivation, after any life change is difficult and does not just happen overnight. However if you take a moment to reflect you may just find the motivation surrounds you.
Life Diesn’t Happen To You
I believe that life doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you. How do I know this? I don’t, but I’m making marks on a page, and that’s the important thing according to my therapist. That’s what I’m here to do today. Sometimes, I think that’s one of the only things that are important for us to do. Make a noise and let the world know we are alive. In conjunction with that is we just need to let each other know we’re here, reminding each other that we are part of a larger self.
Motivation – Worried For A Friend
For instance, I am worried for a good friend with health problems. He is going through chemotherapy and it is a bitch. What can I do for this man? Not much except to let him know that I am thinking of him and that I am hoping and praying for his recovery. I can hope that in some small way it helps. I can only encourage others to do the same for your friends. Let them know you are thinking of them. Motivate yourself to try and motivate them.
Another brother was feeling down about health and finances, and mentioned that he was out of beer. What a calamity! However, this was something I could fix! I loaded up the car and drove several hours to the middle of Oklahoma with a six pack for him. It was a surprise to be sure. We sat on the porch and had a brew and talked for a few hours. He got a lot off of his chest that he couldn’t talk about with anyone else. I didn’t do much, or rather couldn’t do much for my friend; except to let him know that I was here for him to talk to and that I cared. Of course he had to help me too. I had no idea how to get back to civilization from his place and it was getting dark!
Motivation- Make The World A Better Place
I guess the point that I am trying to make is that I am a firm believer that one should make the world a better place by being on the planet. It is a basic question; how will you serve the world? What does humanity need that your talent can provide? Or at least what does your little corner of the world need from you? That’s all you have to figure out. The effect that you can have on others is the most valuable currency there is. Even if it is only one or two people that you share care and concern with. Share with somebody. Help somebody if you can, even if it seems like nothing to you, it can be something to them.
You Probably Know
Let me tell you all something that you probably know. This world isn’t all sunshine, rainbows and unicorn tears. It can be a mean and nasty place. Life can be tough and no matter how strong you are it can, and often will, beat you to your knees and try to keep you there perpetually if you let it. Don’t let it. Think of my divorce. It could have been a hard gut check. But this story is not about how hard my divorce hit me but about swallowing the hurt, and the attorney’s fees, and how to keep moving forward. How much can you take and keep moving forward. That, I believe, is how success is won.
What did I do after the papers were filed and the dust had settled? There I was, suddenly single, and the plan I had mapped out for the rest of my life was changed and boy was I surprised! There was no going back. No return to what I had before. No return to what had been normal for me. So what do I do now? A new thought entered my head, let’s go to school! I was middle aged, divorced, sedate and a long time from college with a full time job but what the heck, I can’t dance. I needed to do something and this is what I latched onto.
Many of my friends and family members advised against this shift in my life. They told me this is foolish, you’re crazy, by the time you finish you’ll be too old to use that schooling and you will likely fail anyway. That encouragement aside, I decided to go ahead. I say you cannot let a fear of failure or a fear of comparison or a fear of judgment stop you from doing the things that will make you feel better about yourself. If only in your own eyes, you need to try to make yourself feel good about you. I think that you cannot succeed without the risk of failure. You cannot have a voice without the risk of criticism, nor can you find new loves without the risk of loss. You must take these risks or you run the greater risk of letting your soul whither.
I did have doubts and asked myself, what if I go out and try and fail? What if I was wrong? Why not stay on the safe path? What if I showed up to the party without my Mardi Gras mask and I refused to flash my breasts for a handful of beads? For those of you who know me personally I’ll give you a moment to wipe that image out of your mind; if you can. For the folks out there who don’t know me that well, just be blissful in your ignorance!
So yes, I went out and I decided to test the waters of something new in my life and I suggest the same to you. Like the Nike commercial, you need to just do it! You might fall down but if you fall, fall forward on your face and not on your butt, at least you are still moving forward. Edison conducted a thousand failed experiments. Experiment 1001 was the lightbulb. Mark McGwire hit 70 home runs in a single season but struck out 153 times. Did they give up? No they kept falling forward in their quest to be better
Motivation- What You Want
What I want you to do is think about what you want and not let fears keep you from trying like I did for a long time. What I want to do is to plant a seed that will inspire you to move forward in life with enthusiastic hearts and a clear sense of wholeness. I have no fear of failure. No cash either but dang it, no fear!
Some of you may be thinking that the safe path is best but I say you need to think outside that safe box. Don’t get me wrong, I was concerned about going out in the world and doing something bigger than myself, until someone smarter than myself made me realize that there is nothing bigger than myself! Except maybe my ego!
Motivation- Road Less Traveled
The Divorce changed my life from the slow and secure path to a road less traveled. Good! It was no longer my job to figure out how life is going to happen for me, but to open the door of imagination in my head so that when the doors opened for me in real life, I could walk through them. I learned that I couldn’t worry if I missed one open door in this journey because there will always be another door opening. They keep opening; we just need to take that step through the door and work to inspire ourselves and along the way, if possible, some others in our lives.
Success Is Relative
Success is relative. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things that defines us. So my wife saying goodbye was actually a boon and a blessing for me. I would not have returned to school and got those degrees or be teaching, or doing research, or writing, or planning the next phase of my future that does not include the old thoughts of sitting on my porch and reading the paper and yelling at the kids to stay off of my lawn as it used to. I have changed my future and my path; and I like it. I must thank my ex for this new found motivation to change my life although I really wish I could motivate her to take her credit card bills back.
Motivation- Just Go
The conclusion is go, go out, motivate, serve, try a new and exciting path; just go. There were days when it was a struggle to just get out of bed sometimes, but I kept plugging along. I want to suggest that you try something different, and along the way, try to help someone out. Simply, be a bright spot in someone’s life, and inspire somebody to be better than they are now.
I have friends that have succeeded in many ways; some small victories and some enormous achievements. They, as much as anyone, have shown me that our future is not set. Frankly, there is no fate but what we make for ourselves. To channel Louis Carroll, the white rabbit that I seek is the knowledge about who I am, and what am I doing here. I am trying to find my answers. I suggest that you go out and seek your white rabbit! Remember that life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death! Don’t go hungry!