Have I made a difference?  I find myself asking such probing questions as I get older.  Or what my Dad used to categorize as “getting a little long in the tooth.”  Dad was pretty folksy.  One day I’ll tell you about the Pine Float.  But back to my point; have I made a difference in this world?

Have I Made A Difference?

Some would argue that the decades that I was a cop, in the military, and a volunteer fireman would ensure that I made a difference.  I still might be influencing people by teaching.  True enough I guess.  I have saved a few lives, outside of my own children I helped bring two lives into the world, and I helped ease a few out of this mortal coil.  Arrests of bad actors made differences to some, not so much to others.  But were these changes because of me or was I just in the right place when circumstances and fate met?  I sometimes have doubts that I did any real good and made a difference.

Out of the Blue

Recently, out of the blue, I had some validation that I had an influence on a life and made a real difference.  I re-met a young man that I had last seen decades ago.  To tell the truth, I had nearly forgotten all about him.  He told me a tale that I am still in awe of.  But, before I tell you his story, let me tell you an old story of my own.

The Early 90’s

Many years ago, in the early 90’s, I was a young patrolman with just a little over five years in my department. I wasn’t a rookie since I had eight years with other departments and the Air Force.  Still, I was young.  As you are aware cops are not paid a great deal so many of us supplement our incomes with part-time jobs.  The salary paid the bills but if I wanted extras, such as a family vacation or what I was looking for in those days, a minivan, I needed supplemental income for my growing family.  So, I took my off-duty time away from my kids to make a buck.

Sports Center

My part-time was every Friday and Saturday at a sports center place.  There was an arcade, mini golf, batting cages, a driving range, go karts, and some amusement park rides.  A family place for little kids and a cheap place to hang out for teenagers.  Sometimes there are drunks, thieves, and jerks who want to harass the teenage employees.  That was why I was there.  Just in case.

Teenagers

This young man that I am speaking of was one of those teenagers.  He came with a regular group of people.  They were noisy, jerky, and pushing the envelope of civility but not completely bad.  I will call him by the pseudonym of “Chris Lafoon”.  Not really close but his last name did rhyme and this kid was always called “Loonie Toon”, partly because he was very funny and partly because his friends could talk him into doing anything.  Face it, if Loonie Toon was a teenager now he would be eating Tide Pods while snorting cinnamon to the cheers of his friends.

Loonie Toon

Loonie Toon was funny and I talked to him and his pals a lot.  Partly because they were funny, and partly to make sure they knew that I knew they were on the property and I would not take any crap from them.  I liked the kid because he was humorous and upfront with you.  I knew he had a minor criminal record.  He was on juvenile probation for truancy, trouble at school, curfew violations, traffic, shoplifting and so forth.  Not major league serious, but progressively getting worse.  He and his buddies were getting close to being really stupid; especially since they were all becoming adults yet still in high school.  Loonie Toon was already a very fresh eighteen and a senior.

One Saturday Night

One Saturday night near closing time, I was tramping around the parking lot to make sure there was no drinking going on.  I spotted a car sitting in the dark with two people in it.  It is hard to explain, but as a cop, you recognize these things as “different” and cautionary.  It raises your Spidey Senses!  So, I paused and watched this car for a bit.  The passenger got out and skulked his way down a line of cars to a yellow Jeep CJ-7 with no doors on it.  He reached into the jeep, actually, he had to lean his whole upper body over the seat and into the interior, and came out with a dark bundle in his hand.  This person quickly ran back to the car and started to get in.

Understand

Now, you must understand that this is a cop’s wet dream!  I had just witnessed the felony crime of burglary to an auto take place right in front of me and I was in a position to arrest the felon’s right there in the act!  Contrary to a lot of TV shows, this does not happen that frequently.  I leaped into action and stood behind the car just as they put it into reverse and did the whole “Halt/Hinto” routine.  In actuality it was stupid on my part to get behind a moving car with no other protection than my badge but we all live and learn.  I ordered them out of the car and suggested that they grab a cloud.  They complied and I hooked them up on the spot, after all, I had seen the felony transpire.  Then I noticed it was Loonie Toon and his Irish friend.  I was going to throw them their first adult arrest.  Lucky them, lucky me.

Explanation

About this time the owner of the jeep and his girl came out and I explained to him what I saw.  He checked his jeep and found that his CD case was missing.  It was on the seat in Irish’s car and that was the object I had seen Loonie Toon take.  In case you don’t remember CD’s were expensive back then at about $10-$15 apiece.  There were about 50 in the case which put the total loss above $500 which was another felony count.  A two-fer!  The jeep owner was righteously ticked off and wanted to settle out of court by whipping some butt right there in the parking lot.  I am sure part of that bravado was for his girl’s sake but he was really legitimately mad.  Basically, the case was closed and finished all except for the paperwork and the trip to the Graybar Hotel (Jail).

Idea

Suddenly, and somewhat inexplicitly, I had an idea.  I thought I would try a little plan and indeed settle this out of court.  I was going to try restorative justice long before the term came into the vernacular. Perhaps, I could make a small difference in this kid’s life.  I spoke with the property owner and explained that I would have to keep his CD’s as evidence if I booked these guys.  But, if he agreed with me, then he could take his CD’s and I would just keep the case open since the statute of limitations was two years.  If these guys screwed up again I would then book them on the felony.  He agreed and I suggested to Loonie Toon and Irish that if they wanted to keep their butts out of jail then they should apologize for being miscreants to the kind gentleman.  They did, and Loonie even offered his hand for a shake after promising not to be a jerk.

Justice

Justice temporarily served, and hopefully, a difference was made. Jeep man got his property back and was able to puff up his chest for his girl for the rest of the weekend.  Irish was contrite and Loonie was apologetic.  The only one out was me since there would be no felony arrest for my record book.  I suggested that everybody go poof and disappear while I finished my duties at the park.

Later On

A little later I am walking out, the last employee, and what should I see but Loonie Toon standing at the gate.  He said he was waiting for me in order to thank me for how I had helped him.  Irish had long since left and Loonie was on foot.  I was not expecting this and I was really surprised when Loonie started to cry and shake.  He told me that he was on the edge with his parents especially now that he was an adult.  They had told him that one more screw up and he was going to be thrown out of the house.  No money, no car, no home.  He also explained that Irish had dared him to get the CD’s and called him the dreaded chicken when he hesitated.  This all came between gut-wrenching sobs and gallons of tears.  It was a long conversation standing out in an empty parking lot at two in the morning. Again, I sensed I had perhaps made a difference, but only time would tell.

A Ride Home

Finally, Loonie calmed down and begged me for a ride home.  This was early in cell phone days and not many people had one.  In order to call someone to come get him, he would have to hike a few miles to an all-night store to use their pay phone.  Normally, I do not mix my personal life with my professional life, but this time because of his emotional state, the distance and the late hour I acquiesced and decided to give him a ride home.

Open Up

Sometimes people open up to me about things and that has served me well as a cop in interrogation rooms.  This was one of those nights when with a little prodding by me someone opened up and spilled their guts.  In that short drive to his house, Loonie unloaded and told me more about himself than I ever needed to know.  I then gave him my sage advice.  Basically, you are an idiot to let your buds talk you into being stupid.  In actuality, if an arrest had happened there was not enough on Irish to take him but there was on Loonie.  Did he think that Irish was going to wring his hands and go bail him out or try and take the blame to help him?  No, that doesn’t usually happen.  It’s a cold world out there and you are often shivering in it on your own.  We talked, or rather I talked, and he listened to what advice I could give him about growing the heck up and that he needed to change his life.  Loonie seemed to be soaking it in.

Regretting My Decision

I didn’t know if he heard me and I spent the weekend regretting my decision not to arrest him. Who was I kidding? Giving a kid a chance and hoping to make a difference in his life is far too optimistic.  Eventually, this episode faded into the background of life.  Shortly after that the park closed for the season, I don’t remember seeing any of this little group again with the exception of Irish who was in the paper some years later with his very tricked out funny car with, of course, an Irish themed custom green paint job.  Of Loonie, I knew nothing and he was soon lost from my memory.

A Quarter of a Century Later

Jump ahead about a quarter of a century, and Loonie recognized me at a meeting after hearing my name. He pulled me aside and told me he had wanted to find me to thank me for what I had done for him.  Loonie explained that his parents were waiting after I had dropped him off.  He had forgotten the garbage and his dad lost it. Loonie’s  bags were packed by the front door ready for Loonie to be thrown out.  With some fast talking and apologizing, his parents let him stay.  He was positive that if I had gone through with the arrest then he definitely would have been out on the streets when his folks found out.  Loonie, now I have to call him Chris, had to prove himself to his parents.  Chris said he took my advice to heart and eased away from his friends who were getting him into trouble.  Every time he started to do or contemplate something stupid or illegal he said he would pause and think, WWHS.  Or, as he put it, What Would Holland Say?  This, he said kept him on the straight and narrow path after that.

Chris’ Story

Chris worked hard to graduate high school. His grades sucked,  but he managed it.  Sadly, Chris’ parents refused to give him any money for college, so he worked two jobs and went to community college in his spare time.  Basically, his parents cut him off and ignored him; only providing a roof over his head and some chow in the fridge.  He was such a disappointment to them that they barely tolerated him at that time.

Hard Years

He said this was a hard couple of years having to prove his worth to his parents again.  Often he thought about giving up but our talk, my advice and the feel of my handcuffs kept him going.  Eventually, he showed his folks that he was a changed man.  They helped him in school and in little things like his car and clothes.  He graduated college and then got his MBA, met a nice round girl and had a passel of kids.  He is quite happy.  Chris said he still lives by the motto WWHS and raised his kids with a variation of that saying.

A Night in Handcuffs

That night in handcuffs and the nice thing I did for him by making him apologize to the victim in the jeep are what he considers the turning point or the epiphany of his life.  Chris insists that because of me, he changed and decided to become a born-again good citizen.  No matter how much I protested to the contrary he insisted that I was in a great part the reason that he is the happy man that he is today.  His last sentence to me was “you made a difference in my life!”

Question Answered

I have answered my own question and am humbled by that answer.  One small act of kindness and an effort to try something different worked.  I helped, I changed a life, and I made a difference!  Have you?